The Beginning of the End

326 days gone. 7 to go. It's really incredible how fast the days have gone. The year is coming to an end, and there's nothing I can do but accept it. Five exchange students have already gone home. We have already had all of our official Rotary goodbye parties. There's nothing left to do but wait. Wait until it's my turn to gather up my stuff and drive to the airport. Wait until I'm the one crying and saying my final goodbyes to the people and places that have so quickly become my home. How can you just pack up your things, and leave? How can you just say goodbye to a new life that you've created for yourself, knowing that it will never never be this way again; that you will never be 17 again; that you'll never be surrounded by all of these beautiful faces again? How do you say goodbye to people that have given you endless memories, laughs, and love for the past 11 months? How do you leave it all behind?

I've never been placed in this situation before. I've never had to deal with so many goodbyes. I feel like this world that I've created for myself is slowly crumbling, falling into nothing. Every day just breaks my heart a little more. I've come to the point where every time I go somewhere, the only thing I can think is, "Is this the last time? Will I ever be back here again?" I've woken up each morning and thought, "What can I do with this day? How can I get the most out of every second that I have left here?" And how can I, really? How can I fit in everything in the next seven days? How can I do everything I still want to do here in one mere week?

What I've recently started to discover is that I can't. I can't fit in everything. I don't have time to go everywhere again, to see everything one last time. The only thing I can do at this point is focus on enjoying myself. Take in every last second here. Take mental pictures of every face and every place. Memorize each last word said, and the sound of my best friends laughing. All I can do is focus on being here, in the now, while I still am. Appreciate it, before it's gone. I have no idea how I will say goodbye to these people, how I will leave this beautiful city behind me. Pretty soon all that I will have left will be photos and memories. And as much as it pains me to think about leaving it all behind, I know that all good things must come to an end, and although this year may be over, it's been an experience that will stay in my heart for the rest of my life.

As Winnie the Pooh once said, "How lucky am I, to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard". As sad I am to leave this behind, I know that I am so blessed to have been given this opportunity, and I will treasure it for as long as I live.