Final Thoughts

Well here I am, down to my final night of exchange. I can't believe that a whole year has passed. It feels like just yesterday, that July night when I was sitting in my bed back home thinking about how crazy it was that I only had one more night before my year long adventure in Peru began. I remember clear as day every feeling and every thought that passed through my mind that night. I was so excited, nervous, happy, sad, scared, intrigued. I wondered if I would make friends, how my host families would be, if I would be happy. I remember thinking, "What I will feel like on my last night there. Will I be happy? Sad? Will I regret it? Or will I only regret that it has to end?" It has been 11 months since that night. And now here I am, sitting in my new house, surrounded by my new best friends, thinking back to every laugh, every cry, every inside joke, every meal, every sleepover, every movie night, every holiday and everything in between.

I almost can't process it all. Eleven months ago, this was all a concept. An idea. Now it is about to become a memory.

I have made the most incredible friends in the world. I've made relationships that will last my entire life. I look at their faces and I am amazed. I never imagined that I would find a group that brought me as much joy as these people do. They're my teammates, my amigos, my family. It's hard for me to grasp the concept that starting tomorrow evening, I'll have to live without seeing their smiling faces every day. To be perfectly honest, I forget what it was like to not know them. They have helped me become the person that I have always wanted to be.

As hard as it will be to say goodbye to my new life, I am very excited to return to my old one. I can't wait to be home with my family, to see everyone again, to be back in my home town. I feel all of the emotions that I felt on that night last July before coming here. I'm happy, sad, nervous, excited- it's all there. But above all, I feel determined. I have learned so many valuable lessons throughout this year, and I am determined to use what I have learned and apply it to my life back home. I never want to lose this feeling of happiness and peace. My goal for this upcoming year is to treat it as another exchange. I want to behave as though I am an exchange student in Columbus, Ohio. I want to learn the culture, learn the ways of the people there, as an outsider. I want to explore the city and see new things. I want to have an open mind. I want to go to every festival and take advantage of each and every opportunity that presents itself. I want to retain the exchange student mentality. I want to feel free and happy, just as I have this year. I never want this feeling to go away. I want to feel like this forever. And I'm determined to make it happen.

Exchange has been the most incredible thing that has ever happened to me. This year has taught me endless lessons, but most importantly, it has taught me how to love life. I now have a much greater appreciation for the world around me. I am the happiest that I have ever been, and I have Rotary to thank for it. I have no idea how to even begin to go about thanking everyone who made this possible for me. Rotary, my families, my friends. Thank you for this incredible year. It was a life-altering experience that I will never ever forget.

The Beginning of the End

326 days gone. 7 to go. It's really incredible how fast the days have gone. The year is coming to an end, and there's nothing I can do but accept it. Five exchange students have already gone home. We have already had all of our official Rotary goodbye parties. There's nothing left to do but wait. Wait until it's my turn to gather up my stuff and drive to the airport. Wait until I'm the one crying and saying my final goodbyes to the people and places that have so quickly become my home. How can you just pack up your things, and leave? How can you just say goodbye to a new life that you've created for yourself, knowing that it will never never be this way again; that you will never be 17 again; that you'll never be surrounded by all of these beautiful faces again? How do you say goodbye to people that have given you endless memories, laughs, and love for the past 11 months? How do you leave it all behind?

I've never been placed in this situation before. I've never had to deal with so many goodbyes. I feel like this world that I've created for myself is slowly crumbling, falling into nothing. Every day just breaks my heart a little more. I've come to the point where every time I go somewhere, the only thing I can think is, "Is this the last time? Will I ever be back here again?" I've woken up each morning and thought, "What can I do with this day? How can I get the most out of every second that I have left here?" And how can I, really? How can I fit in everything in the next seven days? How can I do everything I still want to do here in one mere week?

What I've recently started to discover is that I can't. I can't fit in everything. I don't have time to go everywhere again, to see everything one last time. The only thing I can do at this point is focus on enjoying myself. Take in every last second here. Take mental pictures of every face and every place. Memorize each last word said, and the sound of my best friends laughing. All I can do is focus on being here, in the now, while I still am. Appreciate it, before it's gone. I have no idea how I will say goodbye to these people, how I will leave this beautiful city behind me. Pretty soon all that I will have left will be photos and memories. And as much as it pains me to think about leaving it all behind, I know that all good things must come to an end, and although this year may be over, it's been an experience that will stay in my heart for the rest of my life.

As Winnie the Pooh once said, "How lucky am I, to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard". As sad I am to leave this behind, I know that I am so blessed to have been given this opportunity, and I will treasure it for as long as I live.

Last Trip

Our final Rotary trip of the year took place at the end of May. It started in Lunahuana, a beautiful city in the mountains. All 39 exchange students in Lima threw some clothes into our bags and met at the bus station for the last time. We started the trip by going to the annual Rotary district conference in Lunahuana where we met Rotarians from all around Peru, received awards from the governor of Rotary, put on a group performance of a classic Peruvian song and ate delicious food. After our night at the conference we headed to Ica, a city further south. It was my 3rd time in Ica but I still enjoyed it like it was the first time. We spent a few days there touring vineyards, seeing historical sights and sand boarding. The evening we spent in the sand dunes was incredible. Although it was my 3rd time in the dunes, the incredible feeling it gives you was still there. Being on the top of a huge sand dune with my best friends in the whole world.... It was amazing. Everywhere you look, all you see is more sand. The sun set while we were up there and the sky turned a beautiful shade of orange. We were all running around, jumping, taking pictures, rolling around, screaming and playing in the sand. Being up there we couldn't help but feel free. This picture says it all!

I actually got the opportunity to spend my birthday on the trip, and the night we went sand boarding happened to be my "birthday eve" as my friends and I like to call it. After we got back to the hotel from the dunes, I was just hanging out down in my room with a couple friends when my good friend Brooke came on and said, "Caroline! Let's go to the boys' room. More people are in there!" The door to my room opened out into the patio of the hotel where the pool and dining area was, and when I walked out of my room that night all of the exchange students were out there to sing happy birthday to me! They even bought me a cake. It was so sweet. It's a Peruvian custom that after the birthday candles are blown out the person whose birthday it is is supposed to get a little part of their face shoved into the cake. It's usually just the tip of their nose or a bit of their forehead. After I blew out my candles about 10 exchange students all shoved my entire head into the cake! I couldn't see anything! It was ridiculous, but a memory that I'll cherish forever ;)

After the cake, some of my best friends and I just sat around in one of our rooms, talking and laughing until midnight came and it was officially my birthday. Right as the clock turned 12, my Swiss best friend grabbed out her guitar. She has one of the most beautiful voices I've ever heard and she has this one German song that she wrote that I absolutely love. She is usually really self conscious about singing it in front of people, but she knows how much I love it and she decided to sing it for me on my birthday. It was so incredible to sit there, surrounded by best friends, all hugging me and welcoming in my birthday, all to the beautiful sound of Lona singing my favorite song. I couldn't help but shed a couple tears in that moment. I was just so happy to be there with them at the start of my 17th birthday.

That day we went to Paracas, Peru. We spent the day walking around on the beach, taking boat tours, eating ceviche and shopping. We went to these beautiful islands full of wildlife. There were so many birds, seals, penguins, etc. and the water was a beautiful dark turquoise. It was an incredible way to spend my birthday.

The final day of the trip was spent in Nazca where we went to see the famous Nazca Lines. The Nazca Lines are giant line drawings in the ground of Nazca that can only be seen by plane. The mystery behind the lines is that nobody knows how or when they were created. We split into groups of about 10 and went up in small planes to get a good view of the lines. It was so cool, but I got a bit sick in the plane. The ride was only about 30 minutes and I think that if it had been any longer I would have passed out!!

All in all, it was a really amazing trip. I can't believe that it was the final trip of my exchange. I am so thankful that I have had the chance to take these 5 trips throughout the year. Each one has been full of learning, laughing, and all around amazing memories that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Trip to the Amazon!

Last month our group of exchange students took a trip to Iquitos, a city located in the northeast of Peru on the Amazon river. The trip was five days, four of which were spent in a lodge directly on the river. The lodge was super cool! It felt like something you would see in the Animal Kingdom park in Disney world. All of the hallways were outdoors, covered by roofs made of straw. The only indoor areas of the lodge were the rooms. In the center of the complex there was an outdoor pool (it was amazing to swim under the stars at night), a dining room and a lounge area with hammocks, games and a bar. The lodge was completely surrounded by rain forest and when you walk out the front entrance you're right on the Amazon river! We had to take boats to get anywhere. It was awesome. Oh and the food they served was so good. So much fresh fish, fruits, salads, beans, etc.  and it was all buffet! So delicious.

We spent the four days doing activities such as hikes through the rain forest, fishing on the river, visiting Amazonian tribes living in the forest, visiting a local elementary school, and boat safari adventures. Each day was a different adventure! We saw all sorts of exotic animals such as monkeys, manatees, jaguars, sloths, etc. It was incredible. It felt so good to have 4 days away from internet connection, away from city life. It was special to just connect with nature, to be together in the middle of the rain forest.

If I had to pick a favorite moment of the trip it would probably be swimming in the Amazon River. I was with a group of about 10 other exchange students on a boat, and one of my friends asked our tour guide if we were allowed to swim. He said yes and brought us out into the middle of the river. A bunch of my friends all stripped down into their underwear and jumped off the boat. I didn't get in at first because I was down to my last dry pair of clothes and I didn't want to have to deal with more wet clothes. Eventually though, my friend Lea (who was also not so keen on the idea of getting everything wet) and I looked at each other and said, ''Screw it! We're going to regret it if we don't.'' So we climbed to the edge of the boat and one by one, jumped into the river. All of our friends that were already in were cheering and swimming over to us. It was so awesome. We just kept saying to each other, ''OH MY GOD WE ARE IN THE AMAZON RIVER!'' We swam around in there for a few minutes, and then climbed back into the boat, absolutely soaked. It was a total pain to have to deal with wet clothes, but Lea and I were right- we absolutely would have regretted it had we not jumped.

One other moment that was really memorable for me was the boat ride back into the city. It took us about and hour and a half to get from our lodge back to the city of Iquitos where the airport is. We were all exhausted from the long five days so almost everyone was asleep. I was sitting next to Lea in the front seat of the boat. She had fallen asleep so I put in my headphones and fired up one of my favorite playlists. The sun was shining, the wind was blowing our hair, the view was beautiful and I felt alive. I spent that hour and a half just thinking. Thinking about my life, my exchange, myself. It was right there in that moment that I realized how truly happy I am. I had spent so many years of my life, sitting behind a desk in a classroom full of kids wondering why I was there. Asking myself why I was just sitting in a school building learning things by listening to someone talk about them, and not by going out and discovering them for myself. I always used to sit around and think about what I could be doing instead- all of the places I could travel, the things I could see, the people I could help, the lessons I could learn. And yet there I was, waking up in the same bed that I had my whole life, going to the same school I had my whole life, seeing the same faces and the same places that I always had. I wanted to see something else, to learn new things, to see new faces. I wanted to stand out. To be different. I wanted to do more than what I was doing at home.

And then I came back to reality and there I was, sitting in a boat on the Amazon River, surrounded by the largest tropical rain forest in the world... After having lived in this beautiful country for almost 10 months. That's when I realized...I did it. I made it happen. I found my way out of that classroom. I found a way to discover the world in my own way, to see it through my own eyes. I did it and it feels amazing.